I have been combating a series of depressing days. I turned online today to look up anything that would help. Apparently journaling does. I had infact signed up for a writing course here in Bangalore. The name of the course was enticing indeed - called "Soulpen - Writing for happiness". Its the name rather than anything that makes me want to sign up each time. It a potent combination for someone like me who is looking for ways to discipline myself into a strict regime of writing as well to use writing to win a semblance of happiness. But somehow each time the day arrives, I find myself making excuses to postpone. I think its a deep seated suspicion that the course is not all that it promises to be and I will end up being disappointed. It might also be a deep rooted laziness that seizes on any excuse. Anyway I will never know unless I attend one, so eventually I intend going through with it. Actually another thought that struck me was that I could sign up for an actual degree course on literature or creative writing instead.

I mainly feel writing would help crystallise my thoughts into a pattern enabling easy decisions. Right now my mind seems to be a confused mess that has me in a perpetual state of indecision. I feel stuck in a rut. I think journalling should help me there. Apparently you need to stop being a hard critic of yourself for journalling to help. Just write, and write on about your feelings each day. See the pattern it follows, which would help remove all the superficial and negative emotions and use the rest to help yourself.

I am begining to sound like some new age therapist. I better stop now. I do intend to start journalling today on.