Close to a week went by with no attempt at the creation of an alternate world.

There are some positives to chronicling however. It helps me look inward and dredge up the positive things in life. I remember a couple of months back I used to listen to ‘Runaway train’ with such a feeling of connectedness. Soul Asylum seemed to be speaking to me – especially the lines …
“How on earth did I get so jaded?
Life’s mysteries so faded “
There was such anger in me … I was more like the angry young women … aka the angry young man of yesteryears. But it seems my anger was misplaced. The world is what you make of it and there is a lot of goodness in it. I actually got two months off work thanks to two great bosses I have. I did want to write then … but all I could think of was angry little nuggets and perverted fiction. That’s not what I wanted to write about … I wanted to write something with goodness in it; something that spoke of the heroism and beauty in life amidst its struggles. I wanted to write about friendship, love and passion but was completely lost to it.

I went away on a journey that looked like a Hindu spiritual tour to most. It meant something else to me and yes it helped me center myself. I regained the recognition of joy in little things … a glorious sunset, the majesty of the mountains, the sublimity of complete faith. These days I never fail to miss the sunset and I have noticed that Bangalore does have glorious sunsets. Yesterday as I walked home from the cab, I could hear the crickets and the other night sound that is so familiar but I cannot place. I was filled with such satisfaction and joy that these things exist. It was then I felt confident that I would eventually write something.